My job decided to cut some of my hours at work again, they do this every year and they get stuck then end up giving them all back to me a few months later.

    Inevitability I end up having way to much time on my hands, which causes me to just sit on the sofa for hours of piddling, watching bad Hallmark movies that all have the same script with the same ending. Leading me to having these really bizarro food cravings and I do mean BIZARRO. 

     So I made a plan to pick one section of my apartment on those free days and clean it out and throw away anything that didn’t serve me anymore. This can be a very time consuming endeavor and depending on the area you picked it can also be an emotional one.

     Today was my desks turn. Piles of papers, bills, notices, letters, advertisements, you name it, it’s there. And if your anything like me, it’s always I’ll get to that Later or what the Italians say, DOMANI, which means tomorrow. For me domani means a few weeks or months later down the road. 

     In the midst of putting things in categories, what to file, what to keep and what to shred I found some rather sentimental photos that I guess at the time I didn’t have the heart to go through them and I realized why once I opened the envelope they were in.

     It was photos of a friend that wasn’t in my life anymore. We had a terrible falling out that caused us to never ever resolve the issue  what separated us, and so many years later they passed. 

     Walking away from that friendship really broke me, which became one of many big heart breaks. A broken heart that took a very long time to even come to terms with, which I don’t think I ever really came to terms with it or had the time to heal from it before the next big heart break to come around. And there were many more to come.

     It just becomes an emotional rollercoaster of healing, once you feel like you have come to terms with it and you start feeling like your in the world of the living, the next heart break is right there waiting for you. And you’re picking up the pieces and again.

     Whenever you get asked what kind of life you want and they ask you if you want “ a rollercoaster or a merry go round” pick the merry go round. You’ll thank me later for that.

Until Then

  HRH